How to Meditate

Meditation has a major PR problem. The vast majority of people know meditation is beneficial, even if they don’t know what the benefits actually are. Regardless of what the benefits are, if so many people know that meditation is so good for you, and that it’s one of the easiest things to do - seriously, all you have to do is sit there - then why doesn’t everyone do it? 

I’ve tried meditation many times. I start off with all good intentions but after a few days, I get busy. The good intentions of starting the day with meditation go by the wayside as I have to be somewhere early. Even when I tell myself I’ll do it later in the day, that time rarely comes. If I decide  to do it at night, once the kids have gone to bed, I often end up just wanting to sit on the couch and relax. Then, before I know it, all I want to do is go to bed. 

Scheduling time to meditate and sticking to that commitment is imperative. You’re creating a new habit and you have to treat it like that. As with any new habit, it helps to find a motivator. What motivates you to keep going, day after day, when the honeymoon motivation subsides. What behavioural influencers are you going to put in place. 

Behaviour is influenced by pain and pleasure. The brain seeks the pleasurable feelings associated with reward and avoids the painful feelings associated with punishment. Create external rewards and punishments for either following through or not, with your daily meditation schedule. Eventually the behaviour itself will serve as internal reward and punishment. 

How to Meditate

• Schedule it. Life in the 21st century is busy. There are so many competing demands for your time and attention, that if you don't intentionally block out or schedule time to do something, it likely won’t happen. Something that feels more important in the moment will take its place. 

• Start small. Meditating is a workout for your mind and brain, just like push ups are a workout for your muscles. If you’ve never done push ups before, you wouldn’t start with one hundred on day one. The same goes for meditation. Start with just two to five minutes and build up from there. The mind is very active and you’ll notice this when you first start meditating. 

• Find a motivator. Downloading an app is a great way to start as it will give you some direction. As with anything, the paid version is always better than the free. I tried free meditation apps for years, but it wasn’t until I purchased a subscription to one, that I started to see results. The one I use is 10% Happier by Dan Harris. I love how there is a meditation each day as well as a video that coaches and teaches you. When you first begin, you can easily get caught up worrying if what you’re thinking, feeling and doing is normal and right. The meditations are just generally awesome. One of the most valuable parts of the 10% Happier app is that you get your own virtual coach. 

• Find a relaxing place. I’ve tried meditating in the wrong place at the wrong time. I have four children under the age of six. Enough said. Find a few places you like to meditate in. Your relaxing place should be a place you can go to at anytime. If there are times throughout the day; for example, at certain times it’s too hot, cold, wet or loud, choose several places. Choose a place to go in your home, your workplace and anywhere else you frequent often where you will want to meditate. Before long, you’ll develop an association to that environment and when you enter it, you’ll immediately begin to relax and feel positive. 

• Practice every time you become mindful. Meditation doesn't need to always be at the same place, at the same time, for the same duration. Anytime you think about it, turn your focus inwards and pay attention to your breathing. Breathing is the simplest and easiest form of meditation. Focus on the area you notice the breath most vividly. This can be for one breath or ten minutes, however long you’ve got. Recognising your thoughts and turning your attention inwards is the essence of mindfulness. Mindfulness is the ability to know what’s going on in your mind in that moment and acknowledging those thoughts, feelings and sensations.  

Meditation has suffered from being perceived as being too hard and taking up too much valuable time for other ‘more important’ things. When starting meditation, you need to treat it like you would any new habit. Schedule time for it and reinforce behaviour by incorporating pleasurable experiences to reward your actions of following through. Find several locations you like to meditate in that allow you to have peace and quiet, and make you feel good. Recognise when your mind is getting carried away and create mental clarity by focussing on your breath. 

What places could you use to meditate?

Leave your answer to that question in the comments section below.